To my lost little one:
"I loved you your whole life"
"I loved you your whole life"
Wow, life is interesting. It seems that everything is going perfectly and then you hit a little bump in the road. That is what has just happened to us. I was so excited to be done with school, be happily married, have an amazing little boy and get the exciting news that another new life was on the way.
On Sunday I came home from church and realized I had started bleeding. I was so worried and shocked and nervous. I would have gone to the hospital, but everything I read said that if it was a miscarriage nothing could be done anyway. I went for blood tests on Monday morning and again this morning. When you are pregnant, your hCG levels (a hormone present during pregnancy) are supposed to double every two days. When I went in on Monday my level was at about 950. When I got back today's results the level dropped to 300. Sure enough, I have had a miscarriage. I never thought something like this would happen to me. It never even crossed my mind. I had people tell me I should wait to announce I was pregnant but I couldn't. I get so excited. In the aftermath, I do not regret the announcement. I enjoyed the last month of excitement and anticipation and look forward to that excitement returning in the future. You may think it is weird that I am posting this, but I don't want to have to tell 20 different people that I am no longer pregnant. Hopefully this will help.
At first I was mad and so sad, but I realized that this is also a blessing. As I was reading about miscarriages, I learned that miscarrying is the body's natural way of getting rid of a baby that will not be able to survive on their own. Usually this means that the baby has genetic problems. I know everything happens for a reason and that Heavenly Father loves all of us. I believe that a miscarriage is something I can handle, though it is so hard. I am thankful that this happened now rather that weeks or months from now.
I don't know what happens to babies that are miscarried. I tried to think about it. Do those spirits come down again (try again)? or Do those spirits already have their bodies now? Either way, I loved my child from the day that I found out I was pregnant, and it is hard to think of what could have been, but I know that there is a reason for this trial in my life.
' The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen,
nor touched, but are felt in the heart'
Helen Keller
nor touched, but are felt in the heart'
Helen Keller
13 comments:
I'm so sorry Lindsay.. I've always thought that if I miscarried, I would tell everyone too- so I don't think it's weird that you wrote a blog. I know the Lord has a plan for your family, and you will be blessed through your trials. I love you!
I'm very sorry for your loss, Lindsay, but I'm impressed by how well you're handling it! I miscarried barely 3 months before getting pregnant with Ayden, so I know how difficult and emotional it can be! I'll be praying for your little family as well as that little baby that wasn't ready to be here! And Sarah's right--you're not weird at all to blog about it, I did the same thing (unless that makes me weird too!) :)
um im pretty sure i love you to the moon and back, to infinity and beyond, forever and EVER!
I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage - that is tough news to have to break. You seem to be handling this trial well, though, and I'm sure Heavenly Father will bless you with another little one when the time is right.
I can completely relate to everything you said in your blog (which is not weird by the way). I am so sorry that you and David have to go through this - Jeff and I know exactly how you feel. Things will get better though, and you will have another cute little baby when the time is right. We love you and are thinking of you!
Lindsay I am really sorry about the miscarriage. I know it is hard to keep repeating the story so it is completely understandable to tell it like this. I am a firm believer that God knows when it is right to have that little one come into your life and it will happen again for you. Rest.
I love you and your family.
We both feel for you guys. You're handling it so great. Always remember we're here for you and love you so much!
I am so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage when Elijah was around a year old, and I had a really hard time with it. I am glad to see that you are looking at it in the right way. It doesn't make it easier, but I believe that every spirit is precious and that Heavenly Father has a plan, not only for your family, but for the sweet spirits who have been miscarried. I researched endlessly after our miscarriage, and I could find no solid answer on what happens to miscarried spirits. However, I did feel an overwhelming peace that our child will be all right. You and your family are in our prayers.
I love you! I am sorry this happened, but I know you will always be blessed throughout your life! You are amazing and I am here if you ever need anything!
It's nice to know that we have the comfort of our Heavenly Father when things like this happen. I don't know if we will ever know on this earth what happens to those little ones. But I like to think that they fulfilled what was asked of them by Heavenly Father, and get to be back home where they belong :o)
Sweetie, your probably tired of hearing from people, but I've been there. April of 2006 we lost a baby too. We were so excited and then found out we had lost it after 3 months. It gets easier with time, but I found the best thing to do was just to let the tears come if they needed to, and remember that you guys are sealed. I'm not sure how it works, if the baby comes down again, but I know that we are meant to have the children that we do. Love ya Linds.
So this is an old post, but I saw Kyla today and we were talking. She said that you had miscarried sometime recently. So that's why I'm posting on this particular posting.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I hope that youa re doing ok.
It's been comforting to me to see all the comments and how many people I know that have miscarried also. We had a miscarriage earlier this year. Different stages bring different pain, but Heavenly Father has been there. My hardest thing has been the anticipation of the due date (which is in a month).
I hope that you and David are doing well with this and just give yourself time, knowing that others I have talked to say that you never really 'get over' it, but somehow it just becomes OK.
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